Creating space: inclusion in the dharma

Who is the dharma for?

If the dharma isn't for everyone who shows an interest, then something has gone astray. Fundamentally, a teaching about the emptiness of all phenomena—about the lack of a fixed reality to any distinctions we make—should not be in the business of harmful discrimination. To discriminate on the grounds of a person's characteristics is clearly harmful and against the ethical precepts. This is to say nothing of the intention to have mettā towards all beings. Inclusion should have been baked into the dharma since the Buddha's decisions to ordain women, and to include members of all castes equally in the sangha. Sadly, this has not always been borne out in the history of Buddhism and the structures in which we encounter the dharma today.

Though I don't necessarily have the temperament of an activist, I've felt a sense of justice since my teenage years. It seems ugly to me that people should be excluded or overlooked because of personal characteristics. However, I recognise that unconscious bias does exist. We also live in societies that are shaped by history and power structures that perpetuate systemic biases. We may not always see systemic oppression because it's systemic; it's part of the water that we swim in. What do we mean by that? Look around you. These realities are present in the dharma hall, in the meditation group, in who gets a voice, in who gets published, in whose books get promoted, in whose books sell, and ultimately in who sees themselves reflected in the teacher, who feels the path is relevant to them.

For example, it may be very daunting for an autistic person to attend a meditation group and to speak up whilst there. Imagine a feeling of sensory overwhelm as chairs scrape, lights flicker, and people catch-up. Compounding this, the intentions and emotions of the people around you seem mysterious to you. The group has unspoken rules, too, about when to talk, when to be quiet, the kinds of things you share and don't share. There may be some traumatic associations around, too. Yet for this person, the group may be a relatively safe source of connection and community. We can be sensitive to the different needs of others, and hold things lightly when they don't accord to our views about conduct, etiquette, and practice. We can let go of "the right way" and explore what is needed in the moment to support kindness and awareness.

Empathy

This is not always easy. We may have a limited understanding of others' experience depending on our own life story. I'm not usually one to espouse the benefits of social media but it has created a space where we are exposed to lives that are different to our own, and this can help to broaden all of our horizons. Mastodon has diverse and wonderfully niche communities, without the algorithmically generated binfires of commercial social media. When we have the opportunity to meet with those who have a different experience to our own, especially in real life, we should treat that as valuable.

We also have to recognise that people may feel less comfortable in social groups where their characteristics are not widely represented, or represented at all. It's on us to create a space in which people feel welcome and valued, and that their voice is valid. This can be a workout for our empathy muscle: "How would I feel if the situation were inverted?"—but even this isn't quite enough, a better question isn't how I would feel, but...

How might they feel?

For example, I haven't had much contact with transgender and non-binary people, and so I have to be careful about presuming what their experience is like. I can extend a friendly openness and be willing to listen and learn. This is itself a practice.

• Can we be fully present?
• Can we put down our own perspective and see things from another's perspective?
• Can we show an interest, show empathy, and not just interpret everything that's being said through our own mental models and pet theories?
• Can we be careful around giving advice when it hasn't been asked for?

Freedom from views about self and other

Our practice of inclusion can't be about about a victim/rescuer dynamic either. This applies to other dharma contexts too, such as the student/teacher relationship. For a teacher, it's presumably quite tempting sometimes to reach over and try to rescue the student—"You need to do it my way"—and so inadvertently reinforce a power dynamic. I'm not sure what the answer is but I feel that in both cases it has something to do with creating space: space for others to step into their power, space for receptivity, space for emptiness, space for the dharma. We don't rush to fill the space with answers, with expertise, with advice, with self.

Of course, we can step forward when our expertise are called for. But we also want to recognise where others are the experts and we are not, or when others have a different perspective to share. We can be aware of our social location and recognise when someone else could take a turn. Unfortunately, all of us—even men!—likely know the experience of being "mansplained" to. Sometimes people—myself included—have a need to eat up all the space in a relationship, to be seen as the expert, to be the one who has it together, to be the rescuer, to know how things are. This often comes from a place of insecurity and is, of course, the activity of selfing. We don't have to judge that but it's something to relax and let go of. And then what do we find? Peace: "Ah, I don't need to do that. I don't need to be seen that way." Freedom. A pleasant coolness.

When we exclude someone on the basis of who they are, there is implicitly a puffed up sense of "Who I am" and "Why I deserve better treatment". The sense of self is never quite secure because it can't be: it's a house of cards. So one way in which it attempts to find security is in placing itself above others. This is something to be wise to. It doesn't end well. Self-aggrandisement may be conscious or unconscious but it's exactly the kind of blind spot that the dharma should be brought to bear on.

So, it’s good to challenge ourselves: are we really being inclusive? Ignorance by its nature conceals itself. And since prejudice is a form of ignorance, we don’t necessarily know it is there or see the harm of it. We may believe we are inclusive... but of course, we would, wouldn’t we? So questioning this—and seeing how we can stretch ourselves—is one way of developing a greater awareness of the self sense and our sense of others. This goes right to the heart of the dharma and is a practice rooted in awareness and compassion.